Ich bein ein berliner

I froze, not because of the sub zero temperatures, but because the amiable German baker asked what I would like and there were no baguettes to point at.  In the last 2 months people have talked to me in over 7 languages, I have tried some words and retained even fewer.  

I have also started speaking a new language, based on English, called Hazelism.  Some words, Baguette, for instance are replaced by words easier to say and remember by the H. Which is why when pressed by the crumbling patience of the baker I said, in an accent somewhere between Major-General Klinkerhoffen

and McClaren Dutch, “Eine Shtick bitte”. The baker repeated in a marked questioning tone “eine Shitck?” I nodded, realising the baker didn’t speak Hazelism.  I felt even more daft miming the shape of a long piece of bread, and she said, in flawless English. “oh, a baguette, sorry we have sold out”

I left with a very expensive, unbleached, sodium free, organically grown loaf which I had pointed at.